And the journey begins..

Just before the train leaves the station you hear a long whistle and the station master waving the green flag, a reminder to all those to hurry on to life ahead because it waits for no one. And like the chug-chug train the motion towards a new destination entails, untill the next and further on....

Our lives are no different we see it as chunks or moments wrapped in time when a particular life altering event happens, which changes the face of some boulders around completely revealing a new scenery or masking a few else. Continuing from the previous blog, that event has already transpired; atleast in theory the practical events would soon follow. Trodding all those years in the bliss of singledom, life seems a bit different than before, ofcourse the taste seems a bit ticklish but surely I will survive :). Ofcourse my other half also has the same events paging forth, as we slowly work our way through the intricacies of adjusting and knowing the idyosyncracies of the halves which should make us whole again!! "Again" you may wonder, well folks, marriage believe me or not is a reincarnation of sort, a new life wherein your life is not yours alone, you learn to share it and feel it beating as whole in the comfort of those you love.



Scores of philosphers have come & gone, contemplating this topic in detail; but theres no easy way for all the answers; the taste of the pudding is in its eating; hehe :). And I am already strapped in. Let the journey begin.

Adieus gringo - II

The ritual which started last year continues this year too, and like old times I am all ready to look back on the year gone by and strap in myself for the year ahead, which would be much different then experienced by me so far. What am I talking about, read on.

The friends who were engaged, got married, the ones who were married increased their family size by one or maybe in the process, our office team shed in some few members and got a few members in exchange. The ones who left would surely be grazing in greener pastures and the ones who are joining in now, think this is as green it can get, a perspective thing isnt it!

"Two men look out through the same bars; One sees the mud and one the stars." - Fredrick Langbridge

Surely the difference is not that stark but it sums the perspective succinctly. Where we stand now tells a lot about our reach of the horizon and what we are able to see. And I guess with each passing day we are able to recognise the oddities of life much clearer and our wants increase our already bulky list by a few more points.

So if I were to sum the year in one breath it goes like this a close friend K who got engaged, got married and also got a baby (fast processing ;) ), another friend S got engaged and would get married next year, one of the friend A who had initiated a venture is going strong though with mild hiccups but he is gulping enough water :) and stands steady, mid-year was sent to Germany for a company trip and visited Rome and Switzerland as a side tour, where also got to mingle more closely with another friend there and other Indian families who hold hands in a far off land. Finished three years in office and got a memento. Though would confess have left blogging from a regular ritual to a side affair, will that change time will tell.



While some of you who were reading my blogs regularly found out that I was getting married an year back, but thats what I myself thought ;) but it turned out to be a hoax call, and the movie story took in a different d-tour from there on, but the stars it seems have realigned themselves for that fortune moment, and it seems real enough now. The dates have been decided and all seem to be in place, and as I said life would be different from now on.

Spending your life with a stranger for another sixty years, yiikees, makes my hair stand, but then I wont be the first one to experience neither the last. But as each person, and his/her experience is unique I guess it would be "Different". Many a times I have thought about this institution and ended with two logical answers of man's desire to procreate and his/her want to share in his life with another being after all we are termed in as a social lot and this is as social as it gets. Ofcourse friends and family included, but this is different I guess, its the step wherein the circle repeats itself into a new line for a different ending struggling for its own space to evolve and touching in a few more circles in the process.

Thats life I guess & maybe not pondering on it more of where its heading I guess I should be running out, there's much to be done and many a lists to be made. I wish you all a Hapy New Year and great life ahead.

Welcome to the wedding-shedding

Reading the center column spread of our Juggy and sometimes Bachi which for the uninitiated are the only things I like to read in this black n white world, the other being the list of movies being aired on that day. I thought its a good topic to share in my comments as well, with february nearing soon and planets realigning themselves to form that perfect lagan or the godfairy time zone when all things conceived will turn out right I myself am showered by some plethora of invitation cards of some near and dear ones, ofcourse not just relatives but as Bachi Karkaria says "It's the age of secular socializing, and ethnic blurring in effect". So my colleagues, friends who also are stepping that once-in-a-life-time event, humbly seek my presence.

Having come from Delhi, I have seen the flamboyant and maddening splurge of wealth on such occasions as if it was not an event to be enjoyed but a virtual exhibition of ones wealth and dominance in society. Ofcourse its an age of glitz and flutter and the red shimmer, and everybody wants to show we are better at it and the significance of the event sometimes gets dozed off in the background with bride almost languid and frail posing that one-fifty poses to the photographer because he cant get his shot right or for that matter, the bride & the groom almost tired blurting the same thank you note for the uncle and aunts they have never met before and are helped by our side standing parents who themselves recall them faintly. But were prompt enough to shower their long-lost blessings for this opportune moment.

Myself not part of that emotional entourage see these events merely a decadent showoff but one which is somehow made mandatory by society. Given my choice I would happily go for a court marriage, give a simple get-to-know party of closed ones in order of grouping and save the money to enjoy in some exotic location far-off, call me old-fashioned or a miser, but I have seen families emptying their bank accounts so they could be part of that society ritual thing, which you ask me are nothing but distant viewers in the time of need. And why forget it is these society customs which make the girl side parents shatter in tears when after all confirmations they are admonished by a silent note of dowry. On the base value I seek marriage as simply a social event where long lost relatives, friends, colleagues get to meet which otherwise would have not been possible, still the bride & groom gets to meet none except the occasional hand-shake and a liner exchanged with the exchange of gifts which I think defies the purpose and you are again left with visiting each one of them ofcourse in the order of preference to their diner parties which well can span a few years or so.

I even know about companies who supply with the extra-makeover relatives in case you forgot your ancestral line and need that pseudo-extended lineage of whatever make and size. These companies groom your would-be-two-hour-relatives in family history, bride & groom background, in case one happen to ask them one and ofcourse supply them with the whole set of clothes fitting your stature. Marriage has certainly lost its organic spontaneity and charm.

And its not that I am a recluse or a hermit, its just that we ourselves have made this society and un awaringly fan those flames further by a being part of the wrong act. Summed nicely:

“My atheism, like that spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image.”

Its not the event or the act itself which is at blame here but its interpretation now and what it has left to become.

Still I have seen many a events where the warmth still gleams in the eyes of those part of the fanfare, the pre-nuptial laughs, jokes, those elaborate events, the mish-mash of our idiosyncratic relatives all over, the excitement and ofcourse the culmination, is all worth it. And its for all these reasons we will continue to cherish these moments.

Those once in a life-time group photographs where we get to see all and name all. Cheers to the wedding-shedding :).

Hope you are invited.

PS: In case you are not, wait, mine is almost fixed thanks all for the wishes before, the dates would follow. Who knows I may very well put a poster out here announcng the same; shouldn't I outdo the rest ;)

Fate, me and us!

One of my acquaintances "T", flew back few days ago and as she would be returning this friday to start her Phd. studies, thought to have that last hi/bye before she scoots a vamoose.

We talked about this and that and I briefed about my life in general and things passing in-out which basically revolves around my job life which is taking care of my weekdays, my empty stomach and last not least other material pursuits now and then which I like to spend time with during weekends, the talk started with the info that I was flying back to Delhi again during the festivity holidays. Amongst the other things in my agenda is ofcourse bumping into my would-be wife through the institution called as arranged marriage and it’s almost been more than a year since I have it by its horn or the other way round.

I guess those of you following my blogs regularly, know that somehow I have not yet able to gulp this strong medicine. We thus talked about many things, mainly being how I have met so many people who have fallen (err. risen) in love, that it almost feels dreamlike and how through the ages I had come to believe in that elusive soul mate funda which seems more faint than ever before. During the conversation I happen to realise the wheel of life in general, it so happens that out there, are people who always believe they will find a soul mate and finally had and then they proudly give credence to the faith thing so easily as if it was meant to be and then there are people who although believed it as much but got housed with the wrong person and have now come to believe what would be, will be. And so there are always two school of thoughts "Destiny is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice" while the other being "Fate leads the willing but drags along the unwilling". And based on our experiences and how life meandered we tilt to one.

I guess that’s how hope shatters, faith is lost, people become an atheist from a believer; while others live happily ever after courtesy the Fate airlines (shipping illusion to 233 destinations daily) hehe. I wonder where fate starts and faith ends. It could very well be the right time right place thing, or you can simply call it life. So God does play dice with the universe!

I guess we all have a certain amount of spark which helps us get through the highs and lows, and keep us going no matter what. But sometimes some wrong turn comes and we are rubbed so far which make us forsake that or those we believe in or sometimes ourselves; which is the worst kind. As "T" during my conversation remarked it’s not how the story starts or things in-between but how it ends that really matters, so I have my fingers crossed. Maybe I will hold on to that spark a few more moments longer or maybe forever. So that a year later when "T" visits back I would be happily acquainting her to my wife.

In all this tussle of faith and fate I still say our civilizations owes it to faith alone; because at the end Fate comes and goes; faith is your own.

Hmmmmph; too much serious talk; I guess I have to enjoi the food, the company of friends I missed, my new nephew just born and ofcourse the Delhi air and crowd.

Adieus; untill more...

HIV and society

I had just finished my food and my sunday paper had become the center table as usual. The tube takes most of my attention but concluding it all, this article came to my attention "Should HIV testing be mandatory before marriage?". With both the Yes vs. No column neatly stacked next to each other. The negation was supported by a lady (Jhanavi Goswami) who herself married at the age of 16 was left out when her husband died and ever since has worked in a AIDS help program; while the support was via Goa's Health Minister (Dayand Narvekar) who is working to introduce a similar bill in Goa.

Ammmph; so it left me thinking; SHOULD it?

Jhanavi gave some plausible reasons in its support foremost plausible from my perception being the lack on infrastructure and tampering of results. That’s a big issue. But apart from that she cited reasons like forced testing and expenditure costs which I think can be easily mooted out. As far as forced testing is concerned I guess the healthy partner whoever it may be would really be in unison, in case he/she is given this option before they fall pray for it; merely for the fact that they land in with no fault of their own. And as far as money is concerned which is 5K per test shouldn’t be a problem in a country where families even village families are bred to spend lavishly on this one time affair. At least a start should be taken in from the cities where everyone can bare it as well being educated enough understand the compulsion and need.

Dayanand is in the process of amending Goa Public Health act to bring this into force I guess being a sizable population would just be the right experimentation grounds for such an act.

I guess government should start advertising its inclusion in society and then later introduce it so that families all over realise its importance. Just like the vaccination procedures towards saving our future generations I consider it no less; wherein not only a new born is saved but the other half who falls into a marriage preview and later in its clutches with no fault of its own.

Daily humm drummm-----------

A bunch of holidays seem to be grazing my turf and I am heading back delhi to laze myself down (incase anybody rolling around the corner just honk me) not to mention a few interviews to attend not the jobs ones but the marriage prospects I am trying to hit on from long. Lets see.

Ironically every time I am reminded of my arranged marriage it rings this line from Anand and I chuckle "aajkal woh zamana tho raha nahi; maa/baap ne var chun liya; aur beti chup chaap doli chad gayee; aajkal ladka ladki dekh nahi leta jabtak ...." and ever since I saw this movie fifteen years back I was with this staunch believe that someday I also would bump into a gal and marry her off; arranged marriage was never in my preview of believe; but fate seems to be having other plans and the more I seem to analyze it the more puzzled I seem to be "if ladka ladki seem to be seeing each other from that long and marrying themselves off; what the hell am I doing". Maybe the act itself would answer that for me!!

My Todo List

Pooooh, returning back after a long time, office work had taken its toll. Though wasn’t hitting home at 11 pm, but still wasn’t getting time for other chores, my violin and my books almost seemed orphaned, so this weekend apart from re-adoption I thought to double check on my list. What list!! The one, many of us maintain before we hit the dirt or should I say meet our creator. Till now the list wasn’t official; it just existed in my head; getting reminded on and off. So I thought to put it on records. Here goes...

1. Learn a language, that’s a common one; although working in a German company I started with French; its something like our very own bengla almost sugar to the ear; but (now don’t laugh) my real inspiration came when watching matrix one of the characters said “I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.”. So I had to learn or atleast try! (Try b'cause with so many exceptions I couldnt keep up with it).
2. Try mimicking a fish, I mean learn swimming so atleast I don’t die in a well.
3. Go to a serene mountain side the ones you see on posters with a crystal lake and large meadow; and just sit there silently for hours with my soul mate; talking of which I haven’t got married yet and if you see my previous blogs life’s been playing some tantrums in that department.
4. Buy a nice home with a large library and a garden, and grow a coconut tree in the centre; that was before I came to Bangalore; now I will suffice with a few bamboos instead.
5. When I hit fifties; buy one of those old rocking chair lay it thud in the middle of my drawing room and listen to my favorite collection while a yellow labrador pants next to me. But as of now I can’t even think of a dog; too much maintenance; and that house is still on the list.
6. Learn to be a cook, atleast be able to try all those fancy recipes with the satisfaction that they were through my own hands.
7. Learn a musical instrument and I already chose Violin; its been six months now and a long way to go.

I guess I suffice with this now; maybe in a few years when I grow more wise; the list would increase, but as of now; let me spend some time on thinking how to go about each one.

Scribbled your one yet!!

PS: guess what, it could be just be another coincidence, for those matri sites I again came out to be the thousandth customer and they gifted me out a blender.