Adieus gringo - II

The ritual which started last year continues this year too, and like old times I am all ready to look back on the year gone by and strap in myself for the year ahead, which would be much different then experienced by me so far. What am I talking about, read on.

The friends who were engaged, got married, the ones who were married increased their family size by one or maybe in the process, our office team shed in some few members and got a few members in exchange. The ones who left would surely be grazing in greener pastures and the ones who are joining in now, think this is as green it can get, a perspective thing isnt it!

"Two men look out through the same bars; One sees the mud and one the stars." - Fredrick Langbridge

Surely the difference is not that stark but it sums the perspective succinctly. Where we stand now tells a lot about our reach of the horizon and what we are able to see. And I guess with each passing day we are able to recognise the oddities of life much clearer and our wants increase our already bulky list by a few more points.

So if I were to sum the year in one breath it goes like this a close friend K who got engaged, got married and also got a baby (fast processing ;) ), another friend S got engaged and would get married next year, one of the friend A who had initiated a venture is going strong though with mild hiccups but he is gulping enough water :) and stands steady, mid-year was sent to Germany for a company trip and visited Rome and Switzerland as a side tour, where also got to mingle more closely with another friend there and other Indian families who hold hands in a far off land. Finished three years in office and got a memento. Though would confess have left blogging from a regular ritual to a side affair, will that change time will tell.



While some of you who were reading my blogs regularly found out that I was getting married an year back, but thats what I myself thought ;) but it turned out to be a hoax call, and the movie story took in a different d-tour from there on, but the stars it seems have realigned themselves for that fortune moment, and it seems real enough now. The dates have been decided and all seem to be in place, and as I said life would be different from now on.

Spending your life with a stranger for another sixty years, yiikees, makes my hair stand, but then I wont be the first one to experience neither the last. But as each person, and his/her experience is unique I guess it would be "Different". Many a times I have thought about this institution and ended with two logical answers of man's desire to procreate and his/her want to share in his life with another being after all we are termed in as a social lot and this is as social as it gets. Ofcourse friends and family included, but this is different I guess, its the step wherein the circle repeats itself into a new line for a different ending struggling for its own space to evolve and touching in a few more circles in the process.

Thats life I guess & maybe not pondering on it more of where its heading I guess I should be running out, there's much to be done and many a lists to be made. I wish you all a Hapy New Year and great life ahead.

Welcome to the wedding-shedding

Reading the center column spread of our Juggy and sometimes Bachi which for the uninitiated are the only things I like to read in this black n white world, the other being the list of movies being aired on that day. I thought its a good topic to share in my comments as well, with february nearing soon and planets realigning themselves to form that perfect lagan or the godfairy time zone when all things conceived will turn out right I myself am showered by some plethora of invitation cards of some near and dear ones, ofcourse not just relatives but as Bachi Karkaria says "It's the age of secular socializing, and ethnic blurring in effect". So my colleagues, friends who also are stepping that once-in-a-life-time event, humbly seek my presence.

Having come from Delhi, I have seen the flamboyant and maddening splurge of wealth on such occasions as if it was not an event to be enjoyed but a virtual exhibition of ones wealth and dominance in society. Ofcourse its an age of glitz and flutter and the red shimmer, and everybody wants to show we are better at it and the significance of the event sometimes gets dozed off in the background with bride almost languid and frail posing that one-fifty poses to the photographer because he cant get his shot right or for that matter, the bride & the groom almost tired blurting the same thank you note for the uncle and aunts they have never met before and are helped by our side standing parents who themselves recall them faintly. But were prompt enough to shower their long-lost blessings for this opportune moment.

Myself not part of that emotional entourage see these events merely a decadent showoff but one which is somehow made mandatory by society. Given my choice I would happily go for a court marriage, give a simple get-to-know party of closed ones in order of grouping and save the money to enjoy in some exotic location far-off, call me old-fashioned or a miser, but I have seen families emptying their bank accounts so they could be part of that society ritual thing, which you ask me are nothing but distant viewers in the time of need. And why forget it is these society customs which make the girl side parents shatter in tears when after all confirmations they are admonished by a silent note of dowry. On the base value I seek marriage as simply a social event where long lost relatives, friends, colleagues get to meet which otherwise would have not been possible, still the bride & groom gets to meet none except the occasional hand-shake and a liner exchanged with the exchange of gifts which I think defies the purpose and you are again left with visiting each one of them ofcourse in the order of preference to their diner parties which well can span a few years or so.

I even know about companies who supply with the extra-makeover relatives in case you forgot your ancestral line and need that pseudo-extended lineage of whatever make and size. These companies groom your would-be-two-hour-relatives in family history, bride & groom background, in case one happen to ask them one and ofcourse supply them with the whole set of clothes fitting your stature. Marriage has certainly lost its organic spontaneity and charm.

And its not that I am a recluse or a hermit, its just that we ourselves have made this society and un awaringly fan those flames further by a being part of the wrong act. Summed nicely:

“My atheism, like that spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image.”

Its not the event or the act itself which is at blame here but its interpretation now and what it has left to become.

Still I have seen many a events where the warmth still gleams in the eyes of those part of the fanfare, the pre-nuptial laughs, jokes, those elaborate events, the mish-mash of our idiosyncratic relatives all over, the excitement and ofcourse the culmination, is all worth it. And its for all these reasons we will continue to cherish these moments.

Those once in a life-time group photographs where we get to see all and name all. Cheers to the wedding-shedding :).

Hope you are invited.

PS: In case you are not, wait, mine is almost fixed thanks all for the wishes before, the dates would follow. Who knows I may very well put a poster out here announcng the same; shouldn't I outdo the rest ;)

Fate, me and us!

One of my acquaintances "T", flew back few days ago and as she would be returning this friday to start her Phd. studies, thought to have that last hi/bye before she scoots a vamoose.

We talked about this and that and I briefed about my life in general and things passing in-out which basically revolves around my job life which is taking care of my weekdays, my empty stomach and last not least other material pursuits now and then which I like to spend time with during weekends, the talk started with the info that I was flying back to Delhi again during the festivity holidays. Amongst the other things in my agenda is ofcourse bumping into my would-be wife through the institution called as arranged marriage and it’s almost been more than a year since I have it by its horn or the other way round.

I guess those of you following my blogs regularly, know that somehow I have not yet able to gulp this strong medicine. We thus talked about many things, mainly being how I have met so many people who have fallen (err. risen) in love, that it almost feels dreamlike and how through the ages I had come to believe in that elusive soul mate funda which seems more faint than ever before. During the conversation I happen to realise the wheel of life in general, it so happens that out there, are people who always believe they will find a soul mate and finally had and then they proudly give credence to the faith thing so easily as if it was meant to be and then there are people who although believed it as much but got housed with the wrong person and have now come to believe what would be, will be. And so there are always two school of thoughts "Destiny is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice" while the other being "Fate leads the willing but drags along the unwilling". And based on our experiences and how life meandered we tilt to one.

I guess that’s how hope shatters, faith is lost, people become an atheist from a believer; while others live happily ever after courtesy the Fate airlines (shipping illusion to 233 destinations daily) hehe. I wonder where fate starts and faith ends. It could very well be the right time right place thing, or you can simply call it life. So God does play dice with the universe!

I guess we all have a certain amount of spark which helps us get through the highs and lows, and keep us going no matter what. But sometimes some wrong turn comes and we are rubbed so far which make us forsake that or those we believe in or sometimes ourselves; which is the worst kind. As "T" during my conversation remarked it’s not how the story starts or things in-between but how it ends that really matters, so I have my fingers crossed. Maybe I will hold on to that spark a few more moments longer or maybe forever. So that a year later when "T" visits back I would be happily acquainting her to my wife.

In all this tussle of faith and fate I still say our civilizations owes it to faith alone; because at the end Fate comes and goes; faith is your own.

Hmmmmph; too much serious talk; I guess I have to enjoi the food, the company of friends I missed, my new nephew just born and ofcourse the Delhi air and crowd.

Adieus; untill more...

The Entrepreneur in us!

Ever seen a child complete his first sand castle, prepare his/her first dish, complete a chore entirely to which he or she alone can take credit and call it truly one's own. There's a stark glow on their face.

Every time we go in for a task which we alone are accountable for we carry in a risk of failure and also a sense of pride for the success it entails. As time passes our risk taking capacity declines proportionately. But for some the drive keeps on getting stronger and stronger. Oxford dictionary loosely defines such a person "As one who undertakes or controls a business or enterprise and bears the risk of profit or loss" though it does bear other meanings but not to what I have buzzing in my head, and for the past few days this word has been continuously making rounds due to a friend who similarly wishes to take that risk. He flew from Delhi to attend a seminar make a few friends share in his ideas and see if others think him sane enough and are willing to give in, that much required helping hand. And gentlemen business at the end of the day is all about networking and presenting your product to those who care.

He is few of those distinguished breeds who have taken their head and heart in a venture they can call their own; risking the everyday bliss of an organised life! Mark it my friends starting a new business is no easy task especially in our knowledge economy where every third person bleeps a bulb representing a fancy idea that can change the world, but the only thing they lack is the initiative.

Entrepreneurship comes in various flavors and sizes, for some its simply a legacy passed on; for others its their only course of action and then there are those who were in a job and then they thought its time to call for their own shots.

My friend belongs to the latter; and during his stay of three days, shared his experiences which fraught him during the whole makeover, he too was in the dilemma of risking out his high paying job and treading into murkier waters the future of which only time can tell; and every now and then he has called me to ask whether he should be going ahead or be sticking to his everyday job and let the life smoothly take its course, like everyone else. And each time I asked him to take it head-on because twenty years down the line when he thinks back it shouldn't bring in the worry lines on his head that he didn’t gave it a chance.

We talked of many a things which lie in the preview of an individual to make such an idea a reality, and it all converged at a few basic stints that is persistence, right attitude and an honest believe in yourself and letting it known to the world. He too was harangued by many into deviating from this course; when his family is settling down and he has a new born baby to care about. But coming to think of it, our life is always in flux of various events and nowhere do we sit and say "wow" this is the point where I start.

But ofcourse fate too plays its own sweet games and although many have got that spark they lack a choice but in case you are few of those who gets them both, don’t shirk back.

He is too rolling his dice, carefully; for three years he hopes to give in all that he's got, if all goes well we plans to buy a Merc in another ten years or so :) else he exits with his experience intact, he may have to fight his way in, but at the end he will have that strange glow all his life that he tried.

I wish him luck in his future enterprise.