Welcome to the wedding-shedding
Reading the center column spread of our Juggy and sometimes Bachi which for the uninitiated are the only things I like to read in this black n white world, the other being the list of movies being aired on that day. I thought its a good topic to share in my comments as well, with february nearing soon and planets realigning themselves to form that perfect lagan or the godfairy time zone when all things conceived will turn out right I myself am showered by some plethora of invitation cards of some near and dear ones, ofcourse not just relatives but as Bachi Karkaria says "It's the age of secular socializing, and ethnic blurring in effect". So my colleagues, friends who also are stepping that once-in-a-life-time event, humbly seek my presence.
Having come from Delhi, I have seen the flamboyant and maddening splurge of wealth on such occasions as if it was not an event to be enjoyed but a virtual exhibition of ones wealth and dominance in society. Ofcourse its an age of glitz and flutter and the red shimmer, and everybody wants to show we are better at it and the significance of the event sometimes gets dozed off in the background with bride almost languid and frail posing that one-fifty poses to the photographer because he cant get his shot right or for that matter, the bride & the groom almost tired blurting the same thank you note for the uncle and aunts they have never met before and are helped by our side standing parents who themselves recall them faintly. But were prompt enough to shower their long-lost blessings for this opportune moment.
Myself not part of that emotional entourage see these events merely a decadent showoff but one which is somehow made mandatory by society. Given my choice I would happily go for a court marriage, give a simple get-to-know party of closed ones in order of grouping and save the money to enjoy in some exotic location far-off, call me old-fashioned or a miser, but I have seen families emptying their bank accounts so they could be part of that society ritual thing, which you ask me are nothing but distant viewers in the time of need. And why forget it is these society customs which make the girl side parents shatter in tears when after all confirmations they are admonished by a silent note of dowry. On the base value I seek marriage as simply a social event where long lost relatives, friends, colleagues get to meet which otherwise would have not been possible, still the bride & groom gets to meet none except the occasional hand-shake and a liner exchanged with the exchange of gifts which I think defies the purpose and you are again left with visiting each one of them ofcourse in the order of preference to their diner parties which well can span a few years or so.
I even know about companies who supply with the extra-makeover relatives in case you forgot your ancestral line and need that pseudo-extended lineage of whatever make and size. These companies groom your would-be-two-hour-relatives in family history, bride & groom background, in case one happen to ask them one and ofcourse supply them with the whole set of clothes fitting your stature. Marriage has certainly lost its organic spontaneity and charm.
And its not that I am a recluse or a hermit, its just that we ourselves have made this society and un awaringly fan those flames further by a being part of the wrong act. Summed nicely:
“My atheism, like that spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image.”
Its not the event or the act itself which is at blame here but its interpretation now and what it has left to become.
Still I have seen many a events where the warmth still gleams in the eyes of those part of the fanfare, the pre-nuptial laughs, jokes, those elaborate events, the mish-mash of our idiosyncratic relatives all over, the excitement and ofcourse the culmination, is all worth it. And its for all these reasons we will continue to cherish these moments.
Those once in a life-time group photographs where we get to see all and name all. Cheers to the wedding-shedding :).
Hope you are invited.
PS: In case you are not, wait, mine is almost fixed thanks all for the wishes before, the dates would follow. Who knows I may very well put a poster out here announcng the same; shouldn't I outdo the rest ;)
Having come from Delhi, I have seen the flamboyant and maddening splurge of wealth on such occasions as if it was not an event to be enjoyed but a virtual exhibition of ones wealth and dominance in society. Ofcourse its an age of glitz and flutter and the red shimmer, and everybody wants to show we are better at it and the significance of the event sometimes gets dozed off in the background with bride almost languid and frail posing that one-fifty poses to the photographer because he cant get his shot right or for that matter, the bride & the groom almost tired blurting the same thank you note for the uncle and aunts they have never met before and are helped by our side standing parents who themselves recall them faintly. But were prompt enough to shower their long-lost blessings for this opportune moment.
Myself not part of that emotional entourage see these events merely a decadent showoff but one which is somehow made mandatory by society. Given my choice I would happily go for a court marriage, give a simple get-to-know party of closed ones in order of grouping and save the money to enjoy in some exotic location far-off, call me old-fashioned or a miser, but I have seen families emptying their bank accounts so they could be part of that society ritual thing, which you ask me are nothing but distant viewers in the time of need. And why forget it is these society customs which make the girl side parents shatter in tears when after all confirmations they are admonished by a silent note of dowry. On the base value I seek marriage as simply a social event where long lost relatives, friends, colleagues get to meet which otherwise would have not been possible, still the bride & groom gets to meet none except the occasional hand-shake and a liner exchanged with the exchange of gifts which I think defies the purpose and you are again left with visiting each one of them ofcourse in the order of preference to their diner parties which well can span a few years or so.
I even know about companies who supply with the extra-makeover relatives in case you forgot your ancestral line and need that pseudo-extended lineage of whatever make and size. These companies groom your would-be-two-hour-relatives in family history, bride & groom background, in case one happen to ask them one and ofcourse supply them with the whole set of clothes fitting your stature. Marriage has certainly lost its organic spontaneity and charm.
And its not that I am a recluse or a hermit, its just that we ourselves have made this society and un awaringly fan those flames further by a being part of the wrong act. Summed nicely:
“My atheism, like that spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image.”
Its not the event or the act itself which is at blame here but its interpretation now and what it has left to become.
Still I have seen many a events where the warmth still gleams in the eyes of those part of the fanfare, the pre-nuptial laughs, jokes, those elaborate events, the mish-mash of our idiosyncratic relatives all over, the excitement and ofcourse the culmination, is all worth it. And its for all these reasons we will continue to cherish these moments.
Those once in a life-time group photographs where we get to see all and name all. Cheers to the wedding-shedding :).
Hope you are invited.
PS: In case you are not, wait, mine is almost fixed thanks all for the wishes before, the dates would follow. Who knows I may very well put a poster out here announcng the same; shouldn't I outdo the rest ;)
posted by Rebus at 1/08/2007 10:05:00 AM
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