Feminism a debate or is it society!!

Recently during a team outbound event at Chikmanglur apart from many interesting things were the post dinner philosophical and daily life debates. One such argument came up when my colleague gave a real life incident about her friend getting divorced because her husband didn’t support her on an issue and she went loggerheads with her mother in law.

I guess the story would be more then that and there would be more then meets the eye; anyhow this time it was the breakfast table and our minds had got all the energy through the buffet meal; courtesy our company and every member had done their level best to make full use of it. There were six of us on the table and the discussion which started with house wives and house men (in case there is such a term) ferried towards murkier waters with one of my female colleagues went quite sentimental on woman’s right to work in a house which is well to do but the mother in law gives a total no-no on the whole stance. The husband is unable to make her mother sway and the wife is adamant on her own. Various solutions were thrown and in the course of this debate a lot many counter arguments came up. So I thought I would summarize.

I. The husband tries everything to coo her mom in sufficient time maybe with gods and fate rested in she would eventually give up and our lady happily pursues her path.

II. The more drastic version of the former the fate doesn’t bend and neither your mom and you finally separate out from your mom or your wife starts off in spite of all, eventually there are everyday mahabharat sessions broadcasted all over your locality.

III. The husband is unable to resolve the two sides and the wife is still at home cribbing not to forget the fact that sitting at home for an educated person when he/she is willing to work just because of gender is a degradation of basic rights. Or thats mmom sees her as a necessary company to her boredom or maybe ten thousand other funny reasons.

IV. Just like the anti we have another drastic version of third which is the husband wife separate out.

So finally what is the solution?? Now you will see in this situation there are three wrong stance compared to a single right one; the problem further elevates because in practicality men mostly are more inclined to their mom. The second suggestion being totally out of question and in case the mom is that staunch kind, the wife is stuck at home the rest of her life. Another side argument which came in retaliation to the second suggestion of the couple living out separately is that although the wife who is so adamant on leaving this house is the same one who would make terms when she has a child and needs a caretaker and who better then the mom or maybe not. So where does the problem lie is it in the upbringing of the lad or is it of our society which somehow brings you to these corssroads.

Finding meself a wife!!

It would be a shame if you call yourself a English movie connoisseur and haven’t heared the song “matchmaker matchmaker” from the movie Fiddler on the Roof. It was my friend Kerri who during a chat session about my marriage prospects hinted on its near ascendancy and appropriateness to the situation. But that’s been four years now, while the actual search just started a year back. After moving to Bangalore and not bumping in to the right gal my parents hinted on my passing age, which coincidentally has been also pointed out by few white hairs masquerading up my scalp.

I had hoped that coming to a new city, gods would inadvertently mix up some few blessing and send in a dame, but nope that didn’t happen; neither I was that brave soul who could muster up myself to reach on the other side of the chasm. So it all came down to the arranged marriage funda. I don’t know how many would have already faced it or heard a close one to tell the tale, but believe me it’s no easy train.

Having posted in on the matri websites and newspaper a few number of times, my family members seem to have made a good rapport with these ad people. Just recently they gifted us a kettle, for being a devout customer. “What the hell“, here’s a guy who is awaits every bio data as his prospective future wife and here are people handing out gifts as part of customer loyalty programs, I wonder what do they gift us if I keep printing ads for say another century!! My irrevocable bachelors certificate; that’s for sure.

While my parents out of desperation and urgency seem to hinting me of news readers on channels they happen to see the other day. But what to do, you know what they say (I mean the people) “it happens, when it should happen”. So just wait and watch; who knows I may very well marry the girl on the ad counter of a matri website. At least my folks back home would be the last ones to be surprised, as for you, I already hinted!!